Over time I've come to realize that some of the most organic time—sometimes seemingly mundane, other times seemingly very unpleasant—spent with your kids can yield some incredibly high quality downstream. It isn't about being opportunistic. It's about gradually building something together. It's the same with any relationship. If you treated your spouse like this, they would leave you. If you treat your kids like this, they're mostly trapped, but given the chance one day, they will likely leave you behind to some degree or another.
Things worth building take time, effort, dedication, and perseverance. Social relations are the epitome of this. There are no short cuts. Everyone notices when you're opportunistic. Your kids most of all.
The author expresses frustration, which I totally feel too. But I often remind myself that life was never promised to be easy, nor are many things worth doing very easy (and if they are, acquiring or experiencing those things is usually the fruit of some other effort).
I've tended to enjoy being ambitious about work because it comes so easily, too. While it feels great to be productive, I'm not sure it means what it feels like it means. My productivity doesn't mean anything to others, other than my employers. Who cares? My kids don't care. My wife doesn't care. And all the while it doesn't really push me to grow in any direction other than one I already feel very comfortable with. In my experience, this is fine and healthy to engage in moderately, but going bananas with it directly subtracts from the rest of your life (such as your relationship with your kids). And there's no way that in 30 years at the end of my life I'd be glad I was good at... What, building stuff on the computer? Do I want to be alone with that thought? Not at all.
Over time I've come to realize that some of the most organic time—sometimes seemingly mundane, other times seemingly very unpleasant—spent with your kids can yield some incredibly high quality downstream. It isn't about being opportunistic. It's about gradually building something together. It's the same with any relationship. If you treated your spouse like this, they would leave you. If you treat your kids like this, they're mostly trapped, but given the chance one day, they will likely leave you behind to some degree or another.
Things worth building take time, effort, dedication, and perseverance. Social relations are the epitome of this. There are no short cuts. Everyone notices when you're opportunistic. Your kids most of all.
The author expresses frustration, which I totally feel too. But I often remind myself that life was never promised to be easy, nor are many things worth doing very easy (and if they are, acquiring or experiencing those things is usually the fruit of some other effort).
I've tended to enjoy being ambitious about work because it comes so easily, too. While it feels great to be productive, I'm not sure it means what it feels like it means. My productivity doesn't mean anything to others, other than my employers. Who cares? My kids don't care. My wife doesn't care. And all the while it doesn't really push me to grow in any direction other than one I already feel very comfortable with. In my experience, this is fine and healthy to engage in moderately, but going bananas with it directly subtracts from the rest of your life (such as your relationship with your kids). And there's no way that in 30 years at the end of my life I'd be glad I was good at... What, building stuff on the computer? Do I want to be alone with that thought? Not at all.